Everything I need to know about life I learned from Noah's Ark

The woodpecker might have to go! (see photo)

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark .





One : Don't miss the boat.


Two : Remember that we are all in the same boat.


Three : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.


Four : Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

Five : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.


Six : Build your future on high ground.


Seven : For safety sake, travel in pairs.


Eight : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.


Nine : When you're stressed, float a while.


Ten : Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.


Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Strictly from a Mathematical Viewpoint

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%...

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then: H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But: A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there,

It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

For some fun thoughts that are funny but so true

Thoughts To Ponder
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet spirited until you try to get into their pews.

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the middle the road, and the back of the church.

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your door for years.

Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."

If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.

Not only are the sins of the fathers visited upon the children, but nowadays the sins of the children are visited upon the fathers.

God Himself does not propose to judge a man till he is dead. So why should you?

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

If your left hand doesn't know what your right one is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

Peace starts with a smile.

I don't know why some people change churches-what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers.

Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as a committee.

Preconceived Opions can Hinder what we hear

PRECONCEIVED OPINIONS CAN HINDER WHAT WE HEAR?Years ago I heard a unique story about LISTENING:Many years ago a General was visiting and inspecting the Army Base under him.The General was drilling and questioning all the soldiers.The men treated him with great respect.At one point during the inspection the General asked to SPEAK PRIVATELYWITH THE BUGLER... The General asked to see the young man’s BUGLE.The young soilder pulled out a beautiful brass military issued instrument.The General asked the BUGLER several questions about his trumpetand his ability to play. Then the General commanded the young man to secrecy. The young man agreed.The General asked the BUGLER: DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE FIRE CALL?Of course said the young man. The General told the BUGLER, AT 4 AM SUNDAY MORNING I WANT YOUTO MEET ME IN THE CENTER OF THE CAMP AND HAVE YOUR BUGLE WITH YOU! REMEMBER, TELL NO ONE ABOUT THIS.The Post Commander was anxious to hear what the General had said to hisbugler? So when the General left, the Commander inquired what had beensaid. The young soldier refused to answer...After much pressure the BUGLER told the Commander...THE GENERAL ASKED COULD I PLAY THE FIRE CALL. THEN HE ORDERED ME TO BE AT THE CENTER OF CAMP AT 4 AM SUNDAY MORNING.So the Commander ordered all his men to come to the Fire Hall Saturday.They folded every hose just perfect. They waxed the fire trucks and cleaned the garage from top to bottom.Now the commander ordered his men at 4 AM in the morning be ready andwhen the FIRE CALL SOUNDS RUSH TO THE FIRE HALL.At 4 AM Sunday morning the BUGLER WAS STANDING AT HIS POST OF DUTYIN THE CENTER OF CAMP. HIS TRUMPET WAS ALL SHINED AND WAXED...THE BUGLER HAD PRACTICED SEVERAL DAYS ON THE FIRE CALL...The General gave the order to the young soldier: BLOW THE CALL TO CHURCH... CALL THE ASSEMBLE TO WORSHIP...The young man: SIR, YOU ASKED ME ABOUT THE FIRE CALL?DID YOU FORGET? THE GENERAL ORDERED THE SOLDIER: CALL THE ASSEMBLE TO WORSHIP,RIGHT NOW!The young man placed the trumpet to his lips and LOUDLY BLEW THE CALL TOASSEMBLE TO WORSHIP --- AFTER ALL IT WAS SUNDAY...The General and the Bugler stood in the middle of the base. The BUGLER blew very loudly the CALL TO WORSHIP...The commander and all his soilders were dressed and ready. When the trumpet sounded they all ran right past the General and the Bugler to the fire station... in the silence of the morning the fire doors flew open.The sirens were screaming, the bells were clanking. The Base Commander and his soilders were standing on the shiny fire trucks roaring out of the fire hall ...BUT SEEMS NO ONE KNEW WHERE THEY WERE GOING?HOW MANY PASTORS ARE RUNNING SOMEPLACE TO A FIRE?HOW MANY PARENTS HAVE THE SIRENS SCREAMING?HOW MANY TEENAGERS HAVE THEIR OWN PRE-CONCEIVED IDEAS THAT THEIR PARENTS SHOULD BOW?Listen: To make an effort to hear... To take notice... Pay attentionProcess or power of taking in sound... ear shot... A session where testimony is heard... Hear:Perceive with the ear... listen... to judge...

Church Quote

"Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So one hundred worshippers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become unity conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship. Social religion is perfected when private religion is purified. The body becomes stronger as its members become healthier. The whole church of God gains when the members that compose it begin to seek a better and a higher life." A.W. Tozer

Biblical Stewardship

Biblical Stewardship: The Truth About MoneyBiblical stewardship requires that a Christian view money differently from the way the secular world views it. The secular world equates affluence with success and happiness. Therefore, society constantly struggles to acquire as much wealth as possible. The Bible, however, exposes the worthlessness of such a struggle by revealing the truth about money. The Psalms proclaim, "But man, despite his riches, does not endure; he is like the beasts that perish" (Psalm 49:12). No matter how much one struggles for wealth, death still awaits because money cannot add anything to one's life. One could argue that, although money does not keep death away, it is still worth pursuing because it brings happiness and satisfaction in life. Solomon, a wise and rich man, argues, "Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them….the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep" (Ecclesiastes 5:10-12). Money is meaningless. It can never satisfy those who love it and, instead, offers frivolous goods and anxiety. The struggle for wealth brings with it dissatisfaction, not a better life.
Biblical Stewardship: That Which is of True ValueBiblical stewardship does not require that a Christian despise money or to discontinue earning it. Money is a necessity for basic living. The Bible does warn, however, that the love of money creates evil (1 Timothy 6:10). It is important not to allow money to become the center of one's life. When money is not the object of one's love and devotion, one is free to focus on higher things. Good stewardship encourages a Christian to find true value in life. If money does not offer much to life, what does? The Bible states, "Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf" (Proverbs 11:28). The righteous, not the rich, thrive. But how do the righteous thrive without riches? They thrive because they understand and possess what holds a higher value. The righteous have character. Proverbs 22:1 states, "A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold." A pure reputation should be one's goal in life rather than the accumulation of wealth. Character lasts. Money cannot. Believing in God offers the righteous a lifetime of wealth (Romans 11:33). Knowing God and understanding his love are the true eternal riches. The author of Hebrews writes, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). Money does not love and it does not linger. It is God who stands by and blesses his children in immeasurable amounts-this promise, not money, truly satisfies.
Biblical Stewardship: It's About HeartBiblical stewardship calls a Christian to give back to God through tithing. The word "tithe" merely means "a tenth." A Christian, therefore, ought to set aside a tenth of his or her income for God. For God, tithing is not only about a percentage. Tithing has more to do with one's heart during the act of giving then the actual amount given to God. The Bible offers this story: "As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 'I tell you the truth,' he said, 'this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out her poverty put in all she had to live on'" (Luke 21:1-4). The woman gave two copper coins-what amounted to a fraction of a penny. This seems a trivial amount. However, God viewed her trivial amount with more regard than the large offerings of the rich. Why? By giving all she had, the woman showed utter devotion to God. She was willing to offer everything she possessed to show love to God. Biblical stewardship is a giving out of devotion rather than duty. It's about the heart of the giver-the Christian willing to give out of poverty, not wealth.
Biblical Stewardship: Giving to Others and Making a StandBiblical stewardship provides help for the less fortunate. The Bible states, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (James 1:27). Giving does not end with tithing. God asks that the giving heart be extended to those who need it most-widows, orphans, and the poor. As a Christian, one must reach out to those in need, sharing the blessings one has received from God. Even after understanding that money does not satisfy, a Christian may find it difficult to let go of more money by giving to those in need. However, the Bible promises, "A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor" (Proverbs 22:9). The generous person -- the one with the heart of a giver -- finds blessings in giving. When one offers money to others, one receives wealth in many other ways. As a Christian it is time to make a stand for God. Matthew 6:24 states, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

Between God and money, which will you choose to love?